GROW YOUR OWN HAMBURGERS

NO-ONE INTERESTED IN OVERNIGHT MEAT TECHNOLOGY

Why do these stories of fast-growing, semi-synthetic meat just totally gross people out so much?

It's wrong, it's unnatural.

But what is the average normal growth cycle for the flesh we eat as hamburgers and steaks?

In the wild it can change according to breed, diet and environmental conditions.

Obviously as this meat growing technology is so new there aren't any long term studies to determine whether it has far-reaching health fallout effects for the consumers, but it can barely get off the ground because people just don't like the idea of it in total.

But no animal dies to produce this meat. So is that what meat-eaters want from their steaks and lamb chops? That it came from an animal slaughtered to feed us?

Very weird and strange territory. It seems mired in ethical minefields when, in reality, there are none at all. Unless you believe that all growing flesh has a soul or spirit.

Whatever, here's the story :

A U.S. scientist has developed a process to grow cow cells into full-size hamburger overnight but he can't get anyone to invest in the process.

Vladimir Mironov, a biology researcher at the Medical University of South Carolina, said the process involves taking immature cells that develop into skeletal muscles from cows -- or pigs, or chickens, or turkeys -- and fusing them to a protein that, with the help of steroids, grows into big hunks of meat, The Charleston (S.C.) Post and Courier reported.

The newspaper said the process isn't exactly cloning, but more like cattle farming through chemistry.

The scientific procedure has been published in tissue-engineering journals, but Mironov says he can't find any financial backers, Post and Courier says.

"In business, who pays to make a product nobody wants to buy?" Mironov asked. "You show this technology and say, 'Do you want to try the meat?' and they all say, 'No.'"

But Mironov says the long-term benefits of the technology could outweigh the negative public perception.

He told the newspaper: "It's not Frankenstein meat. It's like hydroponic tomatoes."

The whole deal with this amazing meat tech is going to be a hard cell.

But what about McDonalds? Or Burger King?

How about making it fun? Beef steak grown into the shape of a plucked chicken?

Okay, now I feel sick.

The quick-grow meat tree is coming, get used to it. Choose a flavour, choose a texture, set and let grow in time for tomorrow night's big dinner.

Who knows, it might even be good for us....

Roooowwwllfff!!!