"CAN I USE THIS FOR AN OMELETTE?"
The man who found a monster mushroom in his garden has asked for it to be identified so he can decide whether or not he will slice it up for an omelette, or 70.
From This Is London :
A pensioner is puzzled about an enormous mushroom which has grown in his garden.
Jan Wocial, 70, first noticed the whitish-grey fungi in his garden in Addison Road, Bromley, about three weeks ago.
It was only slightly larger than normal but following the recent heavy rain - it mushroomed to 96cm wide.
Those eyebrows are almost as spectacular as that mushroom.