Wednesday, January 11, 2006
AUSTRALIAN WOMAN STABS BOYFRIEND SIX TIMES
HE WOULDN'T STOP PLAYING ELVIS OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AGAIN
By Darryl Mason
She could only take so much, then she could take no more....Elvis, that is.
You don't mess with Australian women, every Australian man knows that, and when an Australian woman says, "Stop playing that godammned song or I'm going to stab six kinds of shit out of you with these scissors," most Australian men would have done what exactly what he was ordered to do, and turn off the Elvis for a while.
But not this guy.
At 35 years old, the unidentified West Australian man just loved to listen to Elvis. At least, he loved to listen to one Elvis song, 'Burning Love'. Apparently he played it so much he got into a right old blue with his girlfriend about it.
It appears she told him to turn it off, but he refused.
So she allegedly stabbed him.
With scissors. in the head, in the legs and in the back.
The woman has been charged by police with 'unlawful wounding' and faces court this week. It is not known at this time whether or not the woman's solicitor will argue in her defence for a charge of 'justifiable attempted homicide'.
Elvisologists have pointed out that there are many worse Elvis songs the man could have chosen if he was trying to make some point about his wife, or about the state of their relationship.
He could have chosen, for example, 'In The Ghetto'. Or 'A Little Less Conversation'. Or 'Your The Devil In Disguise' or 'Hard Headed Woman' or 'Mean Woman Blues'.
Perhaps it's the fact that there are over 1200 recorded Elvis songs to choose from that made her mind snap when her man chose to listen to just one.
Or maybe it was that wall-rattling finish where Elvis can virtually be heard thrusting his crotch all over the place as he repeats, to booms of percussion, "I'm just a hunk a burning love/A hunka-hunka burning love/hunka-hunka burning love..." and repeats it, for virtually the last third of the whole song.
The song police allege to be the incitement for the stab-fest was recorded in 1972 and was one of Elvis' last true hits in the US. But besides it's bombastic finale, it also contains a passionate declaration of a combustible love defined : 'Cause your kisses lift me higher/Like the sweet song of a choir/You light my morning sky/With burning love.'
Maybe the man's lucky she didn't set him on fire.